Why you should avoid asking “Have you thought of…”
Have you ever been in conversation with a client, colleague, spouse about a problem they're working on, and jumped the gun with a question like: "Have you thought of doing _____?"
Spoiler alert: It's closed question, and your tone can easily come across the wrong way.
What’s a closed ended question? It’s one that invites a binary response - a yes or a no. While closed ended questions are valuable (they are very effective for creating decisive moments) in a situation like this, they might cause you to miss an opportunity.
I almost said this the other day, to someone who is working hard on something meaningful, in fact related to the current pandemic crisis. Thank goodness I stopped myself, and instead said, "What's your instinct for solving this problem?"
What a monumental impact this tiny shift has in a relationship dynamic. You'll communicate respect, trust, curiosity, and be much better positioned to follow up with someone like, "Have you considered _______" if it's helpful to share your own ideas for solutions.
This is just one of the types of questions I cover in the workshop How to Ask Better Questions. It’s a crowd favorite because it doesn’t have acronyms or frameworks - but it’s full of powerful and simple strategies you can use right away.