How to make a meaningful connection with limited time to talk

When you have limited time to get to know someone, how do you ask a question that lets you see the *real* them?

I went to a music festival last weekend. (No, I wasn't on stage! My husband moonlights as a rock star - writing GREAT originals and playing Allman Brothers covers that have fans going wild.)

I don't know his bandmates very well, and I really wanted to catch a moment to connect with them.

Luckily an opportunity arose - another band's set break! BUT, there was limited time - musicians do *not* like talking once music starts.

I'd have <5 minutes so the conversation needed to count. But what to ask....

In my head, there was the obvious choice: "How did you first get into the Allman Brothers' music?"

But I'm not into obvious. I'm into COMPELLING. So I said:

"Hey - I'm curious - how would you each answer this question... Which Allman song epitomizes "you" - lyrically, musically or some other way?"

Yes! Their reactions immediately told me I'd asked a great question.

- Bandmate #1: "Woah...good question...."
- Bandmate #2: "Oh I've got my answer!"
- Bandmate #3: "What's yours??" (asked to Bandmate #2)

Pause, excitement and curiosity.

^ These reactions are how I know it was a great question. Not the obvious one (which would have been fine) but a compelling one.

Impact on all levels.
- We had a highly memorable conversation.
- After they shared, Bandmate #1 turned the Q on me.
- Bandmate #2 wanted to ask this Q of other musicians in attendance.

Short and very powerful.

THIS is what we do at Convers(ate). Team building. Facilitation. The right questions for the right moment. Lasting relational impact.